LJ McDowall

Messing About With Words

The Golden Handshake by Liùsaidh

The Golden Handshake is the British euphemism for the severance package-cum-bribe used to pay off embarrassing corrupt officials. Every event in this song occurred in Scotland between 1990 and 2007.

I am not a silent poet

Now the deficit is rising,

the workers face the chop.

There’s nastiness at the bottom,

and evil at the top.

The City’s losing money,

but we cannot plug the leak,

The auditors are riding in

even as we speak.


For the Chief put his golfing cronies

in positions of authority—

It’s clear to all and sundry

he’s a walking liability.

He’s got cocaine in the toilets,

in case he needs a snort,

and he’s got the public lawyers

to keep him out of court.


We’ll give him his golden handshake

before the break of day,

A golden handshake,

and send him on his way!

He’s not a public servant,

he’s just a party toy,

let’s give a golden handshake

to our golden boy.


Now if you’re into funny handshakes

we’ve got the…

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This entry was posted on September 27, 2016 by in Uncategorized.


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